11- Christmas morning exuberance

Christmas eve was always torturous. Flopped on the floor in front of the pile of presents, longing to know what was inside.  The torture was bitter sweet. It was lovely to know that the morning would come. It would be a long night of tossing and turning, cursing and waiting for dawn. 

Of course morning came and so would the sugar high from the cookies Santa left.  So would the paper cuts, the hugs, the kisses, the cleanup, the thank-you’s and the disappointment for the presents longed for but missed.  If only Santa had remembered that go-kart, it would have been perfect.

Yes, metaphors run (or at times, ruin) my life.

Yoga at Namaspa offered a new joy for me. For the first time, I could touch my fingers flat on the floor without bending my knees.  I’ve not been able to do this since I was a teenager!

As I was waiting for class, I felt particularly limber and strong. The gentleman next to me appeared to be new and maybe apprehensive. I gave him a smile and closed my eyes to clear my mind making room for my practice.

As I reclined in child’s pose, I thought to myself. “This man is new to this. He is here, as am I. I am happy we are here together and thankful that people come to this practice.” I was actually reciting my own reality about people not caring about banana-seated-sissy-bar-stick-shifted status symbols. I was authentically happy to share the time together.

From that moment on, I was smiling like a simpleton.  Just smiling and sweating, almost giggling with the fact that my yoga transformation was taking hold. After two weeks, I was stronger, leaner, more flexible and seriously bitten by yoga.

The class was full of all types, men, women, all ages, all levels of ability and experience. For the first time, I was not the least experienced or least flexible.  I was somewhere near the middle, albeit towards the backside of the middle.  For me, this was a magnificent accomplishment that kept me a smiling buffoon through the entire class.

I sweat like a racehorse and blew sweat off my nose as it dripped from the tip. And I was smiling. I did the extra push-ups and all the sit-ups, although I had to modify the legs-off-the-floor situps. And I was smiling. I went deeper into stretches than I had been before, by quite a bit. And I was smiling. I did bridge pose AND wheel pose. And I was smiling.  Actually, I couldn’t smile when I did Lions Breath pose… I almost gagged with my head cocked back that far.  We all have our limits.

In savasana, I kept on smiling and thought to myself. ‘Yoga has changed my life in two weeks. I have 50 more weeks to go.’

This is my new Christmas.  I am thrilled for the process. I am thrilled for the results. I am thrilled for the relationships. I am thrilled for the sweat. I am thrilled for the inner changes. I am thrilled for morning to come.

Each day brings me new gifts.

Namaste-   

10- My Yellow Bicycle

This marks the tenth in the series.  There is something special about ten. I am not really sure but somewhere, some numerologist could enlighten me. If that is you, please do.

When I was a lad of 10, I received a bike for my birthday. It was yellow.

Certain times in your life, freedoms are gained that are milestones in your development: The expanse of your neighborhood once you have a bike; The expanse of your city once you have a drivers license; The expanse of your world once you have a passport. New opportunities create new possibilities if you are willing to take the steps to embrace what is before you.

My yellow bike and I went everywhere.  I rode it to school, got lost, crashed, jumped creeks, tried to convert it to a banana-seated-sissy-bar-stick-shifted status symbol and when that failed, converted it to a BMX bike that ultimately garnered much criticism.In hindsight, it really was meant to be a cruiser, not those other incarnations I was forcing.

It was MY yellow bike and we had been through a lot together.  When it came time to say goodbye, even as a 12 year old, it was difficult.  I actually didn’t own a bike for a few years after that. I had to borrow my moms.

Some things in life are difficult to work through. We have had them (things/habits/what-have-you) for years and can’t imagine life without ‘them’.   Yoga has reminded me that my old postures were just fine. They suited me well. They served a purpose at the time. These old ways are now making the room necessary for the new. Where there is a void, something new will fill it. Hopefully, wise choices are made and the new choice is more adaptive for the new life.  

Today, my new yoga experience was at Asmi Yoga in Bend. The studio was by far the largest in Bend and possibly the city’s best kept secret. It is a converted wood shop or metal shop of some sort. Think high ceilings with massive old growth beams, vibrant purple and mustard walls with deep rustic wood grained floors with a warm polished glow. The sound system is so well tuned that you actually can’t define the source of the sounds. You feel the warmth of the sonic wave covering you with.

In yoga this morning, I was really struggling. My hamstrings are as tight as a steel drum; my hips are rigid like granite.  In my own judgment, I sound tight and a parody of middle aged deferred maintenance.

Trying to stretch my problem spots wasn’t working. The kindness and patience of Deb Light allowed me to not connect to judgment of myself but listen to her smooth voice allowing the support to just relax and let it go. I let it go, for a moment, and could feel the stretch reaching deep into my muscles and connecting tissues.

The time spent with Deb was enjoyable, but today more so. She allowed me to work through my habits and found ways for me to find their obsolescence. From this place I could then look to what new opportunity was being offered.

Oddly, I am a shy person.  In my job I come into contact with, I kid you not, a thousand people a day.  I am social, engaging and animated. When it comes to my own needs and my own ‘issues’ being met, oftentimes I feel too self conscious to ask for help or even express a need.  For me to express these, I must be very comfortable and confident with the situation.

Yoga provides a place that has proven to be supportive and if anything, void of judgment. So long as you are there, no one really notices if you have a banana-seated-sissy-bar-stick-shifted status symbol. They are just happy to ride with you.

Namaste. 

9- Moonset-Moonrise

Last night’s home activities consisted of the usual super-charged, fullish moon mayhem. All of us, grownups and all three boys, jumped on the trampoline in the moonlight...  but, we decided jumping in our underwear -boxers- would be a good farewell to the summer and a good show for the moon. So we all found our favorite pair and

Yes, thats how things roll at the house here.  Spontaneous boxerbouncing can erupt at any moment.

When I woke this morning, at about six, the moon was still up and as vivid as the night before.  What a great way to start the day.  Quietly as the others were still asleep, I made my way to the trampoline to pick up the clothes we left out the night before. The trampoline and the moon both called me to jump again so, in my sweats, I jumped again.

As peculiar as you may think it is to midnight boxerbounce, I think it's more peculiar to bounce at 6am, alone while the dog looks on with a cocked head and flopped ears.

The 7am class at Groove was my destination this morning. It was full, mostly female but still a much higher ratio of men in the room than one would expect.   In front of me was a man about 15 years older than me, who was Ghandi-bendi. I was so excited to see someone that I could look to as my future. He was mat poetic. To my right was a yoga instructor doing her time in a class; she was about 15 years younger than me. She was she was flexible, fluid and full of grace.

This was only an hour long class so I would give it my all.

We started out quietly and then rose up with the music. The class had a great flow, with all levels seeming to be in motion together, regardless of their place in the practice.

I have noticed that my pushups are easier. When given the option, I am now taking the extra sessions of pushups.  I believe I drive myself harder when its a one hour class rather than a 90 minute class.  I love the longer poses in the 90 minute class but sometimes a down and dirty 'get-er-done' class really hits the spot.

From my previous posts, I'm sure you all recall with vivid detail, morning yoga was not my favorite.  I have opened my mind to the new possibility and embraced it.

Morning yoga is good... sleep is good too.

Namaste

8- Different strokes, different ponds.

 
Just as many types of music there are in the world, so there are yoga studios.

Many studios approach yoga from an introspective standpoint.  The practice is personal, quiet, fluid and ties to the breath. The breath is the grounding element of a class.

Today I went to Groove yoga.  The 9:30 class was wall to wall, mostly women from 25-50 but a few men as well.  I believe there were five of us.

The colors are bright, vibrant green and blues full of cool energy. The space is sparse, like other studios but has far fewer Buddhist or Asian nods in the decor.

Most notably, Groove is quite centered on the music.  The music is up-beat but not Rave upbeat.  It’s happy, bouncy and positive. The other element about Groove is the level of the music.  Its quite present.  I won’t go so far as to say loud, but it is certainly in the forefront of the practice. The music is so central to the practice, the instructor needs to wear a head set (a la rock star / MC) to be heard.

Although the instructor was quite centered, competent and reminded all to breathe, I found myself grounding to the music. I was thankful when I was reminded to find my breath.

This morning’s class was one of the most challenging classes to date.  The postures were familiar with subtle twists to them. These twists were well orchestrated to allow for a beautiful flow even for a newcomer to the studio.

In my other posts, I have commented on finding flow or ease of transitions. I believe flow is essential to be in the practice.  Finding flow was easy in this class. The flow was more like a modern dance routine rather than a ballet. Nonetheless, the flow was outstanding!

On a funny personal note; I came home drenched in sweat ready for a quick shower and back to work. The universe did not have that in the plans I stripped down, turned on the water and stood in a stream of nothing. Unbeknownst to me, my water had been shut off!

Still cold from sweat, and of course irritated, I went to my front door to see if the city had, for some reason, turned off my water.  Nude, I peered through the crack for the front door, saw no one so opened the door a bit to look under the door mat or on the door itself:  Nothing.

The only thing I saw was my senior citizen neighbor across the street peering at my front door as my hand reached around to feel for a note perhaps discreetly pinned to the door.

I called the City and spoke with a person who said all her information showed I was current and all was well. There appeared to be no reason the water should be interrupted.

I ran to the closet, toweled off and dressed.

As I headed out, I asked my neighbor if he had seen anything.  He said not too long ago there was a City truck in front of the house for a few minutes and then left. He said he didn’t see the woman in the truck really doing anything. She appeared to have just parked for a few minutes, then turned around in his driveway and left.

Confused, I picked up the phone and called the City again and told them that one of their trucks had been outside my house, prior to the interruption.  The person I spoke with at the City (different than the first time) looked up my account and said she showed no record of me calling just minutes before, no record of my service being interrupted, and no service ticket to fix it.  It's a good thing a happened to call again. Otherwise, its likely I would be out of water tomorrow as well.

She issued a 'work order' and said someone would contact me and let me know what the problem was.

I find it very confusing that the City can dispatch a woman in a truck to come to my house, to do something as invasive as shut off my water and there is no record of it. I find it equally odd that I can call the first time to explain the situation and ask for help only to later realize that my request had somehow not been heard.  Odd?

Other issues in my business and daddy life have popped up today, making today quite scattered.  Perhaps this morning’s upbeat, positive class was getting me ready to weather a storm... while still covered in the salty brine of sweat.

Namaste-

7- Candle Light Yoga, At Home.

The title says it, but not all.

Deb Light came to the house to give a very special gift.  She orchestrated a couples yoga, yin yoga style.

My house is very sparse, almost as sparse as a yoga studio. The floors are maple, unstained with a natural finish. In the living room, we have a woven, wool rug in a tribal Afghan style;  the colors are rust, olive, gold and brown. The furniture is all dark brown with brightly colored pillows.  We have a few treasures from travels including Nepalese incense burners and prayer wheels, Guatemalan Masks and Weavings, a statue of the Chinese god of happiness ( I forget his name now), and all sorts of other little, simple things reminding me of who I am and where I am going.

When Deb arrived, we had every candle in the house lit, the yoga mats spread in front of the fireplace and the furniture moved to make room for our evening. Soft Asian music played in the background.

Deb made herself at home and brought out some Thai prayer chimes, a book of prepared readings and a CD of prayer bowls chiming.

We started on our yoga mats in the candlelit room, in front of the fire sitting cross-legged and back to back.  We were using one another as props for posture as we breathed in unison, deeply and peacefully.

In yin, the poses are long and intentional.  Even the breathing is deep, long and intentional. Sitting with one you love in these long intentional poses, breathing as one is a deeply relaxing and connecting exercise.

The entire evening of poses continued in this manner.  All the poses somehow involved touch and connections.

Deb has a very soothing, calm voice and manner about her. She specifically selected readings for us that she would recite while in our poses.  Her placid manner allowed us to relax into the pose and meditated on her musings.

The night ended in Savasana, as expected.  However the usual soft and easy touch was extended to a few deeper massages that really sank us into an opiate-like relaxed state. Deb changed the audio wash of prayer bowls to a soothing music of a modern, Middle Eastern vibe.

After the practice concluded, we invited Deb to stay for a late, light faire dinner of garden fresh tomatoes stuffed with a corn salad, a curried rice and veggie salad and roasted red potatoes with garlic, olive oil, rosemary and sea-salt…  Yes, I love to cook and have people over for dinner.

I highly encourage you to have this event in your home, with someone you love, with someone close, with someone you thoroughly enjoy being connected to. Your connection will be deeper.



Namaste-

6- Community

Namaspa, the community class- Namaspa offers a great class at 4:00 on Tuesdays.  The class is less full than the 5:30 class.

Previously, the instructors have said that core work never gets easier.  I found a couple of cheats that made it easier!  Not that I want to cheat my self, but if I have to not do the core work at all becasue its too difficult, then a small cheat is better than laying flat on my back.

Ususally we lay on our backs with our legs (supposedly) hinged 90d. at the hips- toes to the ceiling. Yeah, I can not do that.  So I bend by knees and do the sit-ups with that modification.  It's relieving to know I can do the sit ups and yes, they are difficult. I highly recommend taking the modification suggestions if you find yourself in distress.  There is no sense in punishing yourself rather than caring for yourself.

My sweat factor seemed to drop (not drip) yesterday. I'm not sure if it was a heat issue or some personal phase I was going through. Last weeks torrential downpour of sweat gave way to a mist last night.  I even brought a towel to sop it all up!

I continue to feel stronger, have better posture and now, am noticing, I have a measurable increase in my flexibility. I am still at 178 lbs.

When I sit, I sit taller and actually feel the curve of my lower back feeling strong and engaged. I am sitting on my 'sit-bones' rather than rolling just behind them and resting on the muscle in my gluteous maximus (my arse).

Not one minute of this practice has been time wasted, nor disappointing. Absolutely, it has taken effort and intent. Rather than mindlessly careening out of control towards ill-being, I am being mindful and in control of my health.

How many times have you bellied up to a table, inhaled some pizza/burger/greasy lunch and not really thought of the consequence? How many times have you come home from work, turned on the TV and sat for 2/3/4 hours, had a drink or two, then take your slowly deteriorating temple to bed.  Toss, turn, ache, fret, flop lather-rinse-repeat...?

You can continue on that path and more likely than not, you will continue to achieve those results.

You can step up, and in one short week have results that will leave you thankful for your commitment and begging for more.

For me, it is a simple decision. Choosing health takes effort but it is an effort worth giving. Choosing hedonism takes no effort but leaves me with an undesirable result.

Oh god, listen to me...  I sound like a ridiculous television advertisement. THAT was not one of the desired results.

Namaste-

5- Touch

More yin yoga tonight.  This time, it was with Deb Light at Namaspa.  There are two things that stand out in sessions with Deb.

The readings. During our poses, Deb recites verses from books that pertain to the pose.  Her soft, comforting voice allows for the words to ease into the mind while staying in the pose, in the breath and with your intention.  Her literary choices deepen the yin practice in a mindful manner.

Touch.  At the end of the practice, we lay still, prostrate in savasana. This pose, the anti-pose, is the final few moments of the practice. During this time, I find myself somewhere between sleep and waking allowing my body to settle into the newly stretched form.

While in this state, Deb very gently will touch each one of us with an adjustment of sorts. When Deb reaches me, she gently rubs my temples then touches me in the middle of my forehead.  I am unsure what she does to adjust others but I do hear very subtle sighs as she touches them too.

It is very hard for me to explain the magic of this touch.  It simply seals in the practice and somehow connects us to one another.  I am at a loss for words that will give it the credit due so as it pertains to yoga, I'll ponder it a while and see if I can convey the meaning in another post.

Touch, to me, is the language of love.  To touch another living being with kindness in your heart not only feels right to give, but also to receive. I touch my friends, family, children, GF all on a daily basis. Hugs, hand holding, kisses, pats, standing close, shoulder rubs, back rubs, facial rubs are in my daily repertoire.   Life without this kind of connection feels vacant to me.

When in yoga, having the instructor adjust a pose, massage a part of you that appears tight or pull on you to make the pose go deeper just ads to the magic of yoga.  Perhaps its just me.

I am very thankful for these adjustments at anytime as I feel my body respond as well as my spirit settles into the warmth of touch.

After 5 classes in three days, my body feels great. I feel taller, more balanced and more flexible.  I can actually see the difference in my posture when I look in the mirror.  I've not lost any weight but thats not really an issue for me. If 10-15 pounds shed, I would be delighted.  If my flexibility and posture continue to gain, I have succeeded.

I slept very well last night. This my have been the first deep sleep I have had in months. I imagine I will tonight and many nights to come as well.

Namaste-